Darn tootin' says I. But queer i think is something else too;

Queer is a pro-active lifestyle choice, for those of us who know we arent heterosexuals. While we've looked further into ourselves than we're "supposed to", and found out answers with no apologies or shame attached, why don't we look a little further and ask why the hell so much emphasis is placed on our sexuality, when our entire gender identity is subverted by obligation and normality? [thats right, NORMALITY, not MORALITY]
Of course there are gay men and women who feel completely comfortable within their gender roles - but in my own experience at least, a lot of the obligation and compulsion I've felt has been connected to my identity as both a girl (or grrrrl if you like) and a dyke (or queer..).

I don't like to think my sexuality is something so basic as what or who I like in bed. My sexuality is profound -  its about how I relate to someone, how they relate to me, our ideas, our principles, our brains, our emotions, a chemistry. Sexuality in my mind seems to have been reduced by these definitions as something purely physical; "a homosexual likes a person of the same gender" but what do we base it on? How do I know when I see you in the street that you're of my gender? Because you're wearing pink? Nope. Because you have breasts? Nope, don't think so. Gender identity is no more obvious than sexuality, and my most profound feelings for my girlfriend are not based on whats between her legs.

This is a community for LGBT people - thats Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgendered. As we are two women - gender fluid, but not transgendered - we may not be able to help trans kids or gay boys - although i do think we're all in the same boat. However, hopefully this will change when we find more young LGBT people. Some of this stuff might seem irrelevent to you - just because you're gay doesnt mean youre suddenly this entirely different person with gender conflict, but we are trying to be a resource for everyone that promotes mutual respect and understanding. Its worth rememebering too that our community is inclusive, and those of us with purely sexuality related conflicts arent necessarily going to avoid those of us with gender conflicts and vice versa - please, respect each other.

Somewhere in here are my own ideas of the personal and political. Please feel free to challenge them and argue. Part of being queer is that nothing is set in stone, and in my mind, thats incredibly liberating. I'm going to write more about this and probably realise I don't agree with half of what I wrote as this is pretty damn streamofconsciousness and I have had a bottle of wine...

Queer womyn can(t) hold their drink
Kit

I disagree. I am bisexual, but will often refer to myself as "queer". To me, the word has completely different connotations. To me, it's a rejection of heterosexist status quo ie. if the hets see us as "queer" or abnormal, then I'd rather be abnormal if what they consider to be normal is rigid heterosexism. If they don't deem me to be "okay" or "acceptable" then I don't want to be part of their club. For me, the word has political connotations. That's why we can have queer straight people like the ladies of Le Tigre (a lefty-feminist electro-punk band for the uninitiated - only one of them is a lesbian, the other two are straight but are so committed to gay rights and hate heterosexism so much that they refer to themselves as "queer", again for political reasons). It is basically an all-encompassing term for everything which goes against what mainstream society deems "okay" - it includes gays and lesbians, bisexuals, transgender people, intersexed people, gender-ambiguous people, asexual people, as well as straight people who are aligned to our cause. So, I call myself bisexual to actually define my sexual orientation, but I call myself queer to denote my political alignments.

I have been questioned about this opinion on aforementioned lesbian forums. This is on the grounds that although I embrace the word because it means that I am out of and against the mainstream, isn’t gay rights (or any civil rights movement) about being accepted into the mainstream? In an ideal world, don’t we need to move towards the idea of not having outsiders at all?

My response is that no, I don’t want to be an outsider forever. I see it more like pointing out that there is something *seriously* wrong with the mainstream and until it changes drastically I don't want to be considered part of it. Of course, I don't want to be marginalised, but it's more like saying "your whole fucking culture alienates me". By calling myself queer I hope people will recognise the reasons why I reject their culture and see where they have gone wrong and fully embrace those previously considered outsiders. [gender identity and sexual orientation doesnt have to denote any political ideas whatsoever, some just seek inclusion in the status quo while some seek to reject the very concept. And I think there's a difference between being an outsider, and being outside the status quo. -- Kit's two pennies]

Peace out

Tess